INDICITED FOR CRIMES OF FEMINISM

BY WANA UDOBANG

For several weeks consecutively, I have been accused in the office of being a feminist. It is also the reason why any proposal of sorts that has to do with women’s rights or campaign causes are usually passed down to me. Usually I am called into an office, and without any words spoken, im tossed piles of paper stapled together and automatically I should know what to do with it. Either create a feature around it, or have them interviewed on your show. It’s the boring stuff. You are into that kind of stuff and let’s face it, who listens on Sundays anyway.

It really all started with euphemisms, like “madam, your girl power is too much on the radio” and “you know you have issues,….all those women emancipation issues”.

Recently, it was when the only female member of a band came to the office for an interview, and one of the guys asked where her band mates were, then she responded saying they all had too many appointments to deal with, so she had to represent them all that day. In an innocent input into the conversation, I said, “it’s good, you should shine sometimes”.

 In less than a mili- second one of my colleagues stretched his finger pointing ferociously towards me and said “ you are a feminist, have they not said this before in the meeting,…you are a feminist. Shebi they have told you, you have women liberation issues”. For the first time, I realised I had been a repeat offender of feminism crimes. However I never got the hint all the while.

Not like I owe any explanation, but im just a free spirited young woman who believes in equality of opportunity with fairness for all. As the cliché goes, whatever race, creed, gender or social class, lets all get a chance. I am all for the underdog. I was always one myself and one good person or another just gave me a chance. So im just returning the favour. Living with the power of larger numbers is hard enough.

 I don’t really believe in cultural or social segregation of roles but if that’s the way you like to work it in you family, that’s your business. Just don’t come complaining to me that your husband says you should stay home and take care of the kids and you still have to beg for sanitary towel allowance. I don’t believe I should be censored or act a certain way because I have mammary glands and a vagina. Let’s face it, that is really down to how you choose to conduct yourself. You act like a whore, they treat you like one.

The most interesting part is that there are so many strands of feminism, if you even ventured delving into two or three of them, you might just die from confusion. Radical feminists, black feminists, African feminists, post-modern feminists and as my friend Juwon says, there does exist a category such as Nigerian feminists. Gender studies is so complex, it’s more than burning bra’s, sexual liberation or becoming a lesbian. The interesting thing in all of this is that I do not care much for the tag, for selfish reasons of course. I do subscribe and adhere to a lot of feminist ideology but I wouldn’t marry a house husband, im perfectly ok with cooking and domestics plus I am even more alright with his money being our money too. I can’t really object to being looked after now, can i? And oh yes…I’m not interested in carpet munching. It might just be a bit to boring for me, plus the catholic school girl in me just wouldn’t allow. Besides that, im carrying my liberation placards all the way. Give me a couple more weeks and I will let you know if I still have a job.

VIVA LA REVOLUCION !!!!!!