WHEN YOU KNOW ITS TIME TO LEAVE JAND

1 When you have a BA, MSC, MA, MBA and you are still working in customer services….stop telling people that you are trying to gather experience cos CS don’t really do much on your professional CV. Oopsy …I forgot to mention those with two BA degrees

2 When you are having visa issues and you apply for a PHD or join “investment banking” in a dire attempt to stay in the country( sorry guys credit crunch mania )

3 When you find yourself telling everyone that you are celibate because you want to see how serious a guy is about you (stop deceiving yourself…the other name for that is lack of man)

4 When you have to travel from south London to North London to collect Indo Mei noodles and groundnut from your friend that came to visit from Nigeria ???

5 When you are staying with different relatives every week, assuming the perpetual housegirl role as your contribution to the household and sleeping on the floor. Those of you that carry travelling bag as fashionable handbag….take note cos WE KNOW YOUR P(trust me there is spongecase, pant and anything you need in there)

6 When you find yourself applying for a job in McDonald’s and you actually get rejected

7 When you start dating people that you end up warning your friends about the way they look before you introduce them.(because sometimes anything is better than nothing)

8 When you start fare dodging on the underground and looking for the stations that don’t have barriers in order to avoid buying a £6.00 travel card

9 When you start fighting for MAN…..all those girl fighters in the work place and the KOKO bar…TAKE NOTE

10 When you start growing dreads because you cant afford to get a haircut anymore…. dudes that claim to be expressing individuality…LONG TINS BROV

11 When you start asking people around you to answer your phone anytime it rings…I need not say more. Oga landlord is asking for his rent…Meanwhile did I miss out the bailiffs from your unpaid British gas bill…houses don’t warm up by themselves you know.

12 When you bust out the calculator after having launch with friends…..sometimes it feels like a GMATs exam on the launch table

13 When all you listen to is “wine am well” 247 and you watch BEN, OBE, AIT international, Nollywood channel and Nigerian homevideos online…Time to audi, no?

14 When all you do is complain about how hard life is when anyone calls your phone…. Always sayin “JD is Hard, nuttin dey for here” WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE ?

15 When you find out your library card stops working because you cant afford to pay your school fees (as in monthly payment not even yearly)….Warning to those taking years out in between semesters…cos home office aint gonna renew dat visa. So you might want to consider UNILAG cos Ghana cost duch too.

16 When all you do is talk about Nigeria and surround your room with city people, true love and Genevieve magazine and you haven’t even been there is 6 years….Again time to go …No?

17 When you get overly irritated by public display of affection or people holding hands on a busy train platform when your trying to get home after a horrid day of work

18 When you find yourself clinically diagnosed with depression….is not only a white mans illness after all now …INNIT THO..

19 When you start auctioning all your possessions on ebay……it does get that bad

20 Finally If this applies to you, YOU ARE FINISHED…To all those who have been affected by the credit crunch…No more bonuses, cut salaries/budgets and redundancies…Our SPECIAL condolences go out especially to Lehman Brothers UNPAID INTERNS who still got disposed off in these times of economic crises … All road leads to where?... you said it..9jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….as my Yoruba brothers and sisters will say “ELERU GBE ERU E JADE”

this note was brought to you by leeville girls.This does not nessasarily reflect the opinions of the writers but was based on extensive field research.