WELCOME TO MEDIOCRE-CITY

I love the Nigerian spirit. The gift of the hustle, the ability to turn water into wine, the resilience to shine even in an eclipse, it seems like the Tupac poem reads we are, “the rose that grew from concrete”. We can be scum that always finds a way to rise. The latest street motto screams “hustle or dye trying”. It is what has come to define our identity, Naijapolitanism.
Even i consider myself a prime pedigree of the hustle movement. When people question my hustle credibility, i utter with fire in my eyes, as though about to get into a trash talk spar “you say you are from the street, but i am the street. Ask them my name and they will tell you”. (Google me bi@£%h)
However, despite my admiration for our messianic ability to raise the dead, i am starting to wonder whether this has let to the mass mediocre metropolis in the making.
People wake up from sleep and embark on missions without a destination or blueprint in sight. A friend of mine once made a lot of hype about starting a magazine. She raised funds to start up and solicited my support in the process. As any good friend i was supportive. Along the way i realised there was neither rhyme or reason to the publication. I couldn’t tell the audience or demographic, there was no advertising or marketing strategy. Well none that made much sense to me. Plus there was no concrete plan to where the publication was going. In the end it all seemed like a ploy to climb some social ladders.(after two publications it came to a halt) As you know in Lagos its important that you have an occupation that makes you relevant in the gatherings.
“so what do you do?” with that irritating smirk and annoyingly eager widening of the eyes like they are really interested in knowing you or what you can do for them. And then they would reply “i am a designer. I design based on order but I’m working on my ready to wear line”.
In order words i go to my mothers wardrobe, pack all her unused Aso-ebi fabric ,cut out images from magazines because i cant sketch,(and probably cant thread a needle either) and then get my tailor in Costain to fabricate each style. I would then get my skinny friends to model them, get my photographer friend to photograph the models in my designs and do a mass viral campaign on my new collection. It hasn’t gone without notice that a multitude of designers seem to work primarily with Ankara fabric (using the pseudonym AFRICAN PRINT)
One would have to give an A plus for effort at least. Fashion is just one aspect of it all. There are events, magazines, television shows, websites, workshops, courses, seminers.etc etc etc all selling you the same brand of mass mediocre hysteria.
Without deliberately trying to sound like a “101 in ideas development lecture”, with every idea comes a blueprint on identity, demographic, marketability, sustainability, profit and investment potential, with an exception to fun or experimental projects of course. The scam can only last for so long. Though some have successfully made an art out of it all, being pedestrian that it.
After all said and done, even i have numerous occupation cloaks. Radio presenter, TV host, writer, PR consultant, blogger, content producer/provider, voice over artist, poet, plus i definitely see room for plus size designer somewhere in there. I better run off to Evans and Monsoon websites to fabricate my first collection. Oh and look out for the Guerilla Basement magazine too.(just joking.. but i foresee a coffee table book though) You never know. Somewhere in all of this one has to admire the feat we undertake. Just can’t knock the hustle.

HAUNTING THE MAN MARKET

If you have spent a significant or even not so significant amount of time in the world of recruitment and human resources, there are a few terminologies in the recruitment dictionary to get acquainted with. When people apply for jobs, they come in categories. Permanent positions; contract positions; temporary positions and temporary to permanent positions. They are all pretty self explanatory however what makes this piece of random information really interesting, is it's peculiar parallel to the world of dating.
Applying for the position of a girlfriend bears an uncanny semblance to the job market. The problem though is that most of us girls forget the position we applied for initially and automatically believe it should be permanent even though that wasn’t advertised in the first place. Let’s take a look at the temp to perm positions. In the job circuit, it could be a quick replacement for someone who occupied the position before, or it could be a newly created role in the organisation to experiment with, ultimately deciding whether or not the role is paramount to the organisations success. During the interviews they inform you that it may become a permanent position. The term “MAY” not being an absolute should inform you that after a set time, you are likely to become unemployed again and should you be applying for a girlfriend position, perhaps single again. On no account is one meant to assume that all positions are an open invitation to a permanent life of bliss.
On a number of occasions, my male friends have accused my gender collectively about their indecisiveness when it comes to what it is they are looking for. In defence i have to expound using the job market analogy once again, but this time round i take a leaf from the applicant’s book.
Most people looking for jobs need and like security so inevitably would like a permanent position. So they still apply for the temp roles hoping and believing that their qualities shine thorough and essentially they become indispensible to the organisation. There is also the constant wishful thinking that the previous inhabitant of the position will fully abdicate their throne and never return. The same goes for the temp to perm applicants. They work hard enough and prove themselves to the employers trusting that there is some room for a renegotiation. As for contract applicants, it says it all on the tin.
When applying for some jobs, negotiations take place too. You are asked what you want and sometimes, you know your wants can’t be met and you accept what you are offered again later hoping your perseverance pays off in the end. These situations and circumstances are perfectly normal within the applicant and job provider dynamics.
It may sound a bit insensitive to compare girlfriends to job applications, but sometimes people need jobs to get them through. Be it contractual, temporary or permanent, the job meets a need. Its never easy admitting that you live in a world of loneliness and solitude, plus you need someone to meet certain needs too. In the fairy-tale ending, we believe we will find a permanent and secure position in the organisation best suited for us. In the mean time though for some any role is good enough.